Love Bombing: The Signs and Stages You Shouldn’t Ignore
When a relationship starts off like a tornado romance…daily declarations of love, surprise gifts, and intense promises. It can feel like a fairytale. But sometimes, that intensity is actually manipulation in disguise. It’s called love bombing.
As a therapist rooted in culturally grounded care, I want to break down what love bombing looks like, how it unfolds, and why it’s more harmful than it seems.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when someone showers you with overwhelming affection, attention, and flattery in order to gain emotional control. It can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, and even family dynamics.
While it might feel flattering at first, love bombing is more about power than connection.
Early Signs of Love Bombing
1. Overwhelming Attention
You’re receiving nonstop texts, calls, or surprise visits. They expect constant availability.
2. Grand Gestures Too Soon
Think expensive gifts, early declarations of love, or future planning within days.
3. Fast-Forwarding the Relationship
They talk about marriage, kids, or moving in together way before you've truly built trust or known each other individual worlds.
4. Excessive Flattery
You’re “perfect,” “the only one,” or “unlike anyone else” - before they really know you.
5. Need for Constant Contact
They get anxious or irritated if you don’t reply right away or ask for space.
6. Boundary Pushing
If you set a boundary, they respond with guilt trips, saying “I just love you too much.”
The Stages of Love Bombing
Stage 1: Idealization
You’re put on a pedestal. They mirror your values and make you feel like you’ve found your perfect match.
Stage 2: Over-dependence
They begin isolating you from friends or family under the guise of “no one else understands us.”
Stage 3: Subtle Control
Affection turns conditional. You may start questioning yourself or working to earn their love.
Why It Matters?
Love bombing isn’t a sign of healthy love. It’s emotional manipulation. Over time, it can destroy your sense of self, your boundaries, and your ability to trust your instincts.
Real love honors your pace, your boundaries, and your wholeness.
If you’ve experienced love bombing or are questioning a current relationship dynamic, you’re not alone. Healing is possible and it starts by recognizing what’s real, and what’s not.
Connection to Narcissistic Traits
Individuals with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or narcissistic tendencies often use love bombing as a tool for manipulation. NPD is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. Love bombing serves as a means to fulfill their need for control and validation. (Verywell Mind, 2022)
If you're looking for therapy support grounded in heart, cultura, and clarity, I’m here to walk with you.
References
1. Psychology Today. (n.d.). Love bombing. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/love-bombing
2. Kneip, R. (2021). Love bombing: A dark side of love. Discovery: The Student Journal of Dale Bumpers College of Agricultural, Food and Life Sciences, 18(1), Article 14. https://scholarworks.uark.edu/discoverymag/vol18/iss1/14
3. Daramus, R. (2021, November 17). What is love bombing? Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-love-bombing-5223611
4. Attachment Project. (2023). What is love bombing? https://www.attachmentproject.com/love/love-bombing
5. Manikandan, G. (2023). Love bombing: A psychological analysis of manipulation and narcissistic abuse. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 11(1), Article 458. https://psychopediajournals.com/index.php/ijiap/article/view/458
Cherry, K. (2021, October 25). The dangers of love bombing. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-love-bombing-5223611
